Happy Birthday, Jesus: Addendum 1.

To the lady at Macy's on Sunday,

Thank you for whistling 'Silver Bells.'

That is all.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

To celebrate, we'll be at the mall.

Stupid. This year I procrastinated. Every year I procrastinate. The worst to buy for this year? My parents. Why? Mom tells me what she wants - runs out of patience and buys it herself. Dad isn't as bad - I have a few ideas. The point of the story is that these ideas could have easily materialized earlier than five days before Christmas when all the other procrastinators are all in the same stores with the same bad attitude.

The Stylist and I took our chances at the mall this afternoon and both made the same observations about Christmas shopping crazies. My favorite observation from the Stylist was about people who stand with their hands on their hips, taking up as much space as humanly possible in tiny store aisles. Sincerely space hogs - is your stance aiding in your decision making process or are you always this inconsiderate?

Can you (hi Mom!) tell that I am more than a little disenchanted with the modern observance of Christmas? It's taken me nearly twenty-five years to realize that Jesus gets the shaft on His birthday nearly every year. Admist the hustle and bustle of my shopping experience neither the wise men, nor Mary or Joseph, nor the manger or even baby Jesus himself popped into my mind. I know. Rather at the forefront of my mind was the overwhelming urge to (and I know I have mentioned this idea before) clothesline the little kids whipping through the mall on Heelies.

Fa la la la la. La la. La. La.

Is It Crooked or Cricked?

Alright. So Mom and Judy have both asked me if I am catching another cold because I sound so congested. I sound congested a lot - like a muppet most days.

Self diagnosis/Google diagnosis? I have a deviated septum. This is how I know. Take a look.

The slight 'deviation' of the septum causes the bottom cartilage to stray a little left (or right) of center. One nostril is also larger than the other.

The fix? Surgery. If you don't mind watching someone chisel off seven to ten chunks of bone inside someone's nasal passage - have a look at this septoplasty.

That's the con. The chisel. The pros?

Google (again with the Google!) advertises a compelling before/after arrangement.

Before:

After:

Sign me UP!

Happy Thanksgiving, Sugar!

Apparently, I've resorted to one big electronic greeting card on special days versus blogging on a regular basis. I blame work. Why? I gotta blame someone and I'm ducking out of the way - but thanks for the day off, Work.

Here's hoping you've got something going today that puts a smile on your face or someone elses.

It's a smaller Thanksgiving celebration with my parents and McWHYBAML for the first half and then a bigger celebration with McWHYBAML's family. This is going to be a great holiday.

And no. I will not be participating in black Friday madness. Think grocery shopping on speed - then think of how I feel about grocery shopping. Deals schmeals. I'm decorating tomorrow!

Big hugs and high fives - the holidays are here.

Hand In Hand

A Good Problem to Have

Too many good thoughts. Too much good to share.

Speaking of sharing - thank you local coffee shop for sharing your wireless internet and your wonderful music selection. Whilst mass friend requesting last night at said coffee shop - McWHYBAML whipped out his iPhone application to figure out what it was that we were listening to. Yes. There is an application for that.

See:

Sigh.

Fairy Tail

The dream continues. I'm just enjoying the pants off this trip.

The Producer and the Wu went on a walk with me this morning (we have done this each day since our arrival). Today we stopped off to visit the ponies that are only a few minutes away. As I was nuzzling the little gipper (I have fondly nicknamed him Willow) I thought to myself and then outloud to the girls, "This is such a dream. Like a fairy tale...complete with ponies."

See:

Oh What A Beautiful Day...I've Got a Beautiful Feeling.

I am currently writing this from the floor of the studio here in the most beautiful place that I have ever witnessed fall colors. I am here with the Wu and the Producer...and the other producer - we'll call him the Saturated Fat Nazi.

Before I left for my trip, I received a couple care packages. One was from my sweet parents.

It was complete with a new Kitchen Spices candle from Bath and Body Works and some lotion. Also included was the Excedrin that will cure the inevitable headache, the country special edition of People magazine and a card that said 'may all your dreams come true.' I love you Mom and Dad. You've never been anything but enthusiastic and supportive when it comes to my ideas and hopes.

The second care package came from McWhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife (his nickname continues to be completely fitting and increasingly more obvious). He sent me away with a Moleskine city guide for my destination - I stare at these every time I'm in Barnes and Noble. He also compiled music for each day that I will be gone on a CD. Each CD was perfectly enveloped in meticulously color coordinated wraps. Inside each envelope are letters. So far, these letters have forced me to just pause and think...oh my. I've got something here.

Will keep you posted. Here we go again!

Man Oh Friday!

Dear Blog,

I have had so many things happen in the last few days that I want to chronicle and I just haven't. I haven't taken the time to post pictures or stories on you at all. I want to, I really do.

I am leaving for Seattle to work on Plan A. If I have down time, I hope to catch you up on the happenings.

Thanks for being here for me, blog...it's been over a year now. You're still looking well.

Love,

LayneStreet

Tale As Old As Time.

McWhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife is acting in a musical that opens this evening. He is playing the role of Gaston in Beauty and the Beast.

Beauty and the Beast was my movie when I was little. When the girls and I had our Disney Princess dance party - I was Belle.

The fun fact? I had a big crush on Gaston. The Beast was exactly that...a beast...for 90% of the movie. Gaston was hot the whole way through. Sure he dies in the end, what hero doesn't?

Coincidence? I think not...sigh.

Swoon.

Break a leg, McWHYBAML! You're the best.

Nobody Gonna Break My Stride...

...nobody gonna slow me down. Oh no. I got to keep on movin'.

After weeks, nay months, of avoiding the plague that's going around - I have undoubtedly contracted a strain of H1N1. Either that or I have a head cold.

At any rate...I'm still going! I got too much to live for.

Last Nerve: Segment 2.

If I had 47 items in my grocery cart and saw that you had 2 items, I would say, "Hey, please jump ahead of me in line - shoot. I insist."

Not everyone aced grocery etiquette class. I didn't either - but I rarely go so it doesn't matter.

Taking Things to a Whole New Level

Well, friends (hi Mom!)...you're not really "in a relationship" until you're "in a relationship" in your information section on Facebook.

It's true. I'm still working on a McName for him - the only two that come to mind are : McWhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife or simply McBoyfriend. The first being really long and not very catchy and the second is just not very creative at all. Anyway.

The funny part about Facebooking and relationship statuses is the fact that Facebook sort of acts like this voice of reason in the decision making process. We decided to make the declaratory act this morning and when I received the "relationship request," it read as follows:

"Would you like to confirm McWhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife as your boyfriend?" In other words...are you sure? Really?

Had there been a button that said, "Yes, Yes I Really Would," I would have selected that option. Instead, I quickly and happily selected, "Confirm."

It's official. Thanks, Facebook.

Wait Just a Minute Mr. Postman

It's 5:30 p.m. and the mail has yet to arrive. This is because of the recent down-sizing the postal service has gone through. They have merged mail routes and reduced the number of mail carriers in the interest of cost efficiency. There is just not enough mail to go around anymore.

I, personally, really enjoy getting mail. I'd wager to say everyone does. Unfortunately, the mail man is about to go the way of the milk man. Had I been around for the era of the milk man, I would have been sad when he was phased out as well.

Lonster - if you're reading this...I know I don't tell you enough, but I appreciate you. In your honor, I am planning on sending fewer emails and more greeting cards.

"We went for a walk." "On our feet, if I remember correctly."

Happy Friday, Sugar. From my happy heart to yours - watch this. You'll smile. Guaranteed.

Living the Dream.

I am living the dream. Life is abundantly beautiful - has been for a long time but as of late, it's taken on a whole new dimension of "oooooh!" That's a good noise.

Speaking of living the dream - have you ever wondered what it would be like to combine the beloved past time of sleeping and the arguably even more beloved past time of eating? Last night, my little paycheck demonstrated that the two past times can harmoniously coexist.

Emoticon Monday:

:) !

Warm and Fuzzy Friday

Friday feels awefully good today.

Head tilt. Smile.

Anyway.

Because you asked, here is what's rattling around in my head.

Have you ever met someone that brings out the you in you? I'm not at all saying that your identity is or should be wrapped up in anyone other than yourself. I'm saying that I think sometimes people cross your path and trigger/unleash something inside of you that is the best representation of who you really are. I don't know how they do it but I'm grateful they can. They come and they go - but their effects are long lasting.

Thank you - you people. You did a really great thing in my life, whether you realize it or not.

And in case your fuzzy isn't warm yet - here:

Ha.

I Won...

...a stare down with a cocker spaniel.

Swine Flu Precautions

During the last week of every month - I'm in charge of stapling all of the statements that leave our office. That's a lot of stapling.

For the last two years, I do the thumb-lick to sort through the stacks. My co-worker - I shall call her the Italian Stallion...stopped me mid-thumb lick and said, "Woa. We have rubber fingers." She then launched into the "with everything that's going around..." speech (she was totally right) and she stretched the tiny rubber finger on my thumb.

The president of our firm (I'll call him Mr. President) walked in just as I was documenting my new hygenic modification. He smiled and said, "You don't need to explain. You're you and that's enough." Word gets around I guess. One time, the secretary walked in on me singing James Blunt to my desk plant.

Anyway.

Please consider this my friendly reminder to take all the precautions you can this flu season.

Rockstar Babysitter

Last Friday, I hung out with a couple of my favorite kids. They're pretty hilarious. I was mostly excited because I knew they would be down for building a fort - I haven't built a fort in a while. Anyway - the second I told them what we were going to do, their eyes glazed over with excitement.

We constructed our little masterpiece with chairs, blankets, sheets and propped up the middle with a Swiffer sweeper. Fort + pizza + Chicken Little = rockstar babysitter.

The Sweet Spot.

Saturday was littered with goodness. Grey's Anatomy, conversation and a Jason Mraz concert. See:

At any rate, Saturday's conversation with the Producer has been on my mind a lot. One of the things that we touched on was the type of legacy your life and your life's work will leave. She basically asked me what I want my life to say.

I know - pretty deep for a Saturday.

Generally those types of questions shut me down -they are so important but so broad. This time, though, I was able to answer in the same round-about fashion that I am known for but with a point at the end that I feel pretty comfortable with repeating.

I told her that I'm still developing my message. I'm learning how to connect what I'm experiencing to words so I can share.

I think a part of having a message to share with your community comes from fulfilling the role you were designed for. I believe that you'll recognize your role when you begin to do the things that make you feel the most alive. If you are functioning in that position - the message you were meant to carry with your life should already be present. Developing the discernment to see it and the character to say it with confidence and clarity is all apart of the process.

And that, my friends (hi mom!) is all I've got. Happy Monday.

Ouch!

WARNING: My inability to verbalize anything confrontational has just manifested itself in the following argument with a day of the week. Proceed.

I went overkill on the "it's Friday morning - woo hoo" cheer this morning and it came back around and punched me right in the face.

Friday was like..."Yes! I am here, but I'm going to make you work through me. That's right, you're going to be busier today than all your other working days combined. Muwa haha ha ha."

Well, Friday - kiss it. My new favorite day of the week is Saturday. You just TRY and catch me there.

Coolest Thing I've Ever Seen #1: Lego House

Some guy in England is building my dream house. Well - was building my dream house until the deal with LegoLand fell through. It has since been demolished. I bet they had to use a REALLY big lego-unsticker:

Look at this!

The idealist inside me is totally disappointed by the wooden studs underneath. If this guy really knew what he was doing he would have known that the interlocking feature paired with overlapping the lego bricks would have been support enough.

So cool. Just last night while strolling through Target, I walked down the Lego aisle and wished I had a reason to buy a big bucket of them - or even pick up one of those little project boxes.

I love...loved Legos.

Happy Hump Day, Sugar!

Rock out with me, if you will. It's Wednesday (I think...it's Wednesday right?) and I'm all by myself in this office and could use a little entertainment. I heard this song on my walk this morning and anyone walking behind me would have caught a show because it definitely put a little bounce in my step and some sway in my hips. Inappropriate, I know.

But. Good love is on the way. Enjoy!

Auf Weidersehen, Adieu.

Ja, ich spreche the deutsche.

The departure curb at the airport makes me want to cry. I dropped Curly off this morning and while I was driving away, I passed by everyone's goodbye hugs and was instantly sad. Everyone's circumstances are different, most all goodbyes are temporary. Unfortunately, some are less temporary - those were the ones I thought of this morning.

The circumstances surrounding the last time I chauffeured someone to the airport were sweet and wonderful on one hand and anxious and sort of painful on the other. It marked a season in my life where I had to learn that some intersections are just that - a place where paths cross. Brevity still contains value - there is a reason for everything!




Blah blah blah.

I'd much rather be waiting in the "arrivals" lane.

Danger!

My neck of the woods is teeming with wildlife these days. Just two days ago, this little buddy appeared on my back steps.

It's ok. I wasn't scared.

In fact, my first reaction wasn't to jump back inside my door and watch from a safe distance - I ran and got my phone to snap the pictures. While taking pictures, I was patting my leg and making alluring kissy noises to entice the little "foxy foxy" to come closer.

Foxy trotted off, but I'm sure I'll see her again. When I got back up to my apartment, I googled "are foxes dangerous?" Turns out they are just rabid. Some people hand feed them. Of course I'm going to try.

Unfortunately my fearlessness caught up with me later in the day. I was ferociously mauled by a six month old domestic short-hair.

Could you just...

...make me laugh? Would the masses not agree that heart strings are more easily attached if they are buzzing with laughter?

"5....6....7....8...."

"NO, YOU WON'T BE SLEEPING LATE!"

Woke to the sound of union picketers this morning. My thoughts were as follows:

1. Would it be counter-productive to picket the picketers?

2. If they brought their own porta-potties, does this mean they will be here for a while?

3. If you are going to make the effort to yell, you should make the effort to enunciate.

Might be a LONG week.

Not a Toy.

Says who?

Nanny kid had a pretty good time, bag maker. For you to suggest that these bags are not toys is to totally ignore the above-illustrated evidence.

He was under close adult supervision.

Also.

I'm a twenty-four year old piano protege'.

Ha.

Ha. Ha.

Dear Jay Leno,

Thank you for pressing Kanye to task - for rattling his cage a little. I don't feel bad for Kanye for having to deal with the fallout of his actions. Hopefully he remembers this moment and these feelings for the rest of his life - I hope they shape the way he treats people, speaks and directs his career.

Thanks,



P.S. Jay - this doesn't look like retirement...

Dear Kanye,

Your appetite for controversy is getting old. Grow up. Stop and ask yourself WWBD (what would Beyonce do). Jerk.

Sincerely,

Bouquets of Sharpened Pencils

I feel as though I can rush fall's arrival by watching You've Got Mail. It's been so nice here lately that I watched it two nights ago just to encourage the weather to stay. I busted out the milk and cookies and pressed play.

I realized while I was watching that this movie has become a big part of the way I conduct myself. A big part of the reason why I love the things I love. I think one of the reasons why I love the simpler things in life is because Meg Ryan constantly points them out in this movie.

She says something in the movie when she was talking about her mother running the Shop Around the Corner - something like "No other reading shapes your life like when you read a book as a child. She wasn't just selling books, she was helping them become the people they were supposed to be." Massive paraphrase - but I love the sentiment. Ironically - I feel the same about the movie.

It's silly. And a little strange. But what if we say, "In with the good, out with the bad," and choose to be influenced by even the little things like movies, books (fiction and non), television, conversation, daisies (the friendlist flower) and bouquets of sharpened pencils!

Wa HOO!

Last week certainly was one for the books. I stopped at one point during last week and thought...I am so happy. I didn't play much this summer but last week made up for all that.

First - my friend the Wu and I played in front of our very first audience. We played four of the songs that we have written and it was one of the biggest highs I have ever experienced. We sang and performed our little hearts out (as best we could...I was out of breath after the first song...). Our friends packed out a little bar here in the city and it was a night I'll never, ever forget.

To top off the euphoria of playing our first gig - I got to escape to the mountains this last weekend. I haven't escaped all summer and it was heaven to sleep on the hard ground and roast marshmallows. I needed a shower something fierce by that last day...but it was absolutely worth it.

Dear Life,

You are amazing.

Love,