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Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Time I Said the Thing About Boobs
Last Friday night, the little band and I sang for a benefit that honored local survivors of breast cancer. It was a big night. There were 450 people in the room. The emcee was my favorite local news anchor. The speaker for the evening was none other than Geralyn Lucas. She wrote "Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy." This girl was hilarious. She was all about telling her story and making sure women understood the facts about breast cancer.
The ladies in the room were incredibly receptive to the speaker and seemed really excited during the raffle. I eventually learned that they were receptive to Geralyn because she had an amazing story and had a way with words. They were excited during the raffle because they were giving away free wine and purses. When the time came for us to entertain the crowd, I was pumped...over-confident even. We took the stage with great energy.
It came time for me to sing Natural Woman for these ladies and I was excited because I had rapidly prepared an intro that I was sure would convey both my awareness about the issue at hand and my winning sense of humor.
You see, when I sing in the shower...Natural Woman is the song I sing. So between the time the speaker discussed the importance of self-exams and the time I took the microphone, I composed the following statement:
"Ladies, the next song is one of my favorites. In fact, it's the song I sing in the shower. However, I'm reminded this evening that singing isn't the only thing I should be doing in the shower."
Nothing. Not a laugh. Not a clap in support of the practice I was promoting. Perhaps the crowd was uncertain of which practice I was promoting - it was clear that the guys in the band were definitely uncertain of which practice I was promoting as evidenced by their raised eyebrows and itchy posture.
The evening eventually got better. I got to stand right next to the real funny lady and someone took a picture of it.
The ladies in the room were incredibly receptive to the speaker and seemed really excited during the raffle. I eventually learned that they were receptive to Geralyn because she had an amazing story and had a way with words. They were excited during the raffle because they were giving away free wine and purses. When the time came for us to entertain the crowd, I was pumped...over-confident even. We took the stage with great energy.
It came time for me to sing Natural Woman for these ladies and I was excited because I had rapidly prepared an intro that I was sure would convey both my awareness about the issue at hand and my winning sense of humor.
You see, when I sing in the shower...Natural Woman is the song I sing. So between the time the speaker discussed the importance of self-exams and the time I took the microphone, I composed the following statement:
"Ladies, the next song is one of my favorites. In fact, it's the song I sing in the shower. However, I'm reminded this evening that singing isn't the only thing I should be doing in the shower."
Nothing. Not a laugh. Not a clap in support of the practice I was promoting. Perhaps the crowd was uncertain of which practice I was promoting - it was clear that the guys in the band were definitely uncertain of which practice I was promoting as evidenced by their raised eyebrows and itchy posture.
The evening eventually got better. I got to stand right next to the real funny lady and someone took a picture of it.
You can tell by my facial expression that I was hoping she wasn't listening to a thing that came out of my mouth that evening.
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